"Is there ever anyone who does not have an experience?"
" They are making this up"
It is probably the most frequently asked question among the first time travellers into the Realms of 'Mother Ayahuasca'. What can I expect.
It is one of the hardest questions to answer, for the experience is different for everyone.
It might even happen you feel you haven't experienced anything during the ceremony except the chatter of your own mind.
As would happen for me on my first ceremony. My first ceremony was actually an Ayahuasca analog ceremony (The chemical compounds of what make up ayahuasca are dirived from different plants, in this case Perganum Harmala & Jurema).
It was at a center in Holland called OM-MIJ, where they have been facilitating ceremonies for many years and are pioneers in spreading the medicine throughout The Netherlands and neighboring countries.
Preparation
I have been researching Ayahuasca for a while now and I find there is not a lot of information to be found (this is in 2016 and ayahuasca is still on it's way up in Holland) .
I research what I can and am intrigued.
Being on the spatial path for as long as I can remember I am searching for that missing link.
I am reading Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle and although I get what they are saying, I don't feel it, or can comprehend it all.
"I will believe it when I see it" is what I said, but Wayne Dyer claims the opposite...
"You will see it when you believe it"
So with all my hope and belief I go to ceremony.
My intention is spiritual growth.
Before everything starts I ask if it happens that people don't have an experience and the answer is rarely...
Of course looking back at it now it was creating and manifesting.
As i drank 5 cups (which is about 5 times as much a a normal dose), I did not have any psychedelic experience of any sorts.
The things that were going on around me in ceremony proved to be difficult to not focus on.
I have a very busy mind that in today's labels would be described as ADHD.
I also have the helpers syndrome, having a background as a nurse I am always at service.
So for me it was a monolog with my monkey mind. Discussing that it should let go, shut up and trust.
Eventually there was a purge, but no idea what I purged and everything went back to normal within 5 seconds.
Listening to my fellow travellers I hear stories about unicorns, sky cities, gods, animals and anything magical or dark you can imagine.
I can't grasp the idea of having seen that and come to the conclusion they are making this up!
Now my story turns into, why didn't I have the same experience that 99% of the people in the room had?
Is there that much resistance?
Am I such a control freak?
Did I do something wrong with the diet?
I decided to come again in 2 months time when a shaman from Peru is visiting and maybe stick strictly to the diet and see what happens.....
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